Bullying...Adult Style

Hi Everyone!

I'm thinking you guys should go grab a snack and a beverage because I have a lot to say today! I know, I know! You're thinking "Geez! She ALWAYS has a lot to say!"...but this time it's different.

I have hesitated to jump on the "let's talk about bullying" bandwagon because I am certainly not an expert in the field (while I have had plenty of experience in it)...I am not huge on statistics and I always, ALWAYS try to err on the side of "Taking the high road" (Hana is rolling her eyes!). However, so many different situations have presented themselves in the past couple weeks that I want to to address some of them.

First let me say how great it is to see all of the anti-bullying programs coming to the schools. The intentions are good. There is definitely been an eye-opening of sorts to the huge problem of bullying. In elementary and middle schools the kids are given these programs are are working with them and taking the messages to heart. But what happens after middle school? Not just in high school, but college and beyond? 

I can tell you what happens. Bullying becomes more sophisticated-not as recognizable as bullying- but bullying nonetheless. It's often done under the guise of humor. Sometimes done by people thinking they are just "voicing their opinions" or exercising their right to free speech etc....But when it all comes down to it....it IS bullying. It's disheartening, disappointing and awful.

So, what's happening? Why are we only limiting our anti-bullying programs to elementary and middle schools? We should be following through in all aspects of our lives. High schools must have these programs. Colleges MUST have these programs and workplaces would benefit HUGELY from having anti-bullying seminars.

In the past couple of weeks I have seen many instances of what I call Young Adult/Adult bullying. I see it with men, however, I can say the majority of it that I see is with women. WOMEN. Is it because we are being told to stand up for our rights and to be "strong" women we have to be aggressive, outspoken and loud? And honestly, the bullying with women I see is directed towards other women! Why is this? We all know that when girls/women bully is much more subtle...words are used to make maximum impact...and the psychological application of the bullying is intense with women. 

Let's be absolutely clear...I AM NOT SLAMMING WOMEN in any, way, shape or form. I firmly believe women/girls should fully support each other, building each other up instead of tearing each other down. We should be seeking equality in all aspects of our lives and we should do it together. HOWEVER, there is a disturbing trend of women bullying women right now. 

And I don't like it.

Have a beef with a roommate? Stay off the social media sites and speak directly to the person about the problem. Have a problem in general? STAY OFF THE SOCIAL MEDIA SITES. Taking a personal argument into a public forum is wrong. It's nobody's business. Don't do it. Not only is that rude and classless, but it is a form of bullying as well. Again...think twice, maybe even three times before taking a private fight public on social media. It never ends well when something personal because public.

Have an issue with some sort of service provided to you? Going to Customer service to complain? When you talk down to that customer service person, scream and yell and treat that person like they are beneath you- THAT is bullying. Don't do that. If you do- you are a bully. Period. Yes you are.

How do you relate to people in your office? How do others act within the office? Are you or anyone else putting someone down or speaking badly about another person in the office, then when they walk in the room the "quiet" thing happens? THAT is bullying. Don't be like that. Again, if you have an issue with someone go to that person. Talking about them behind their backs is a form of bullying. And, honestly, it's just not nice.

This week I have seen bullies in traffic, bullies in the grocery store (you know who you are when you have to race to get in front of me in the line), bullies in my neighborhood, bullies on Facebook, bullies on tumblr. Everywhere.

We are adults. We do a fantastic job of letting our younger ones know what bullying is and what to do about it. When we bullying people as adults...even though it might be subtle and not outwardly too apparent...we are undoing all the good we have tried to do for the kids.

Adult bullying has to stop. And I will be the first one to say it right here. Adults must stop bullying adults. There is no need for it. If you have a problem with someone then do the adult thing and talk to the person. If you are jealous, envious...if you've been wronged...if you think someone doesn't deserve what they have... then I'm going to tell you the phrase that I use before I open my mouth to say something or do something that may be inappropriate, or God forbid, bullying ...

"Check yourself before you wreck yourself."

Thanks for reading. As always- Stay Healthy, Eat Well and Be Happy!!!