Tolerance- Are we being asked for too much?

Hi Everyone!

My column today is something that has been on my mind(and everyone else's) for a while. And while I was thinking about this blog, I was very conflicted on how to present it so I was not focusing too much on one specific incident that has tested our (Americans and people in general) tolerance level. 

Yes, I am talking about the Hate-film "The Innocence of Muslims". After the 14 minute excerpt of this "piece" was posted on YouTube, many, many people-from Radical Islamics to Christians to the Non-Religious to Americans to scores of people around the world-have had their tolerance levels tested. I know I have. And I can tell you that as a whole my tolerance level is in the "red zone". I am almost depleted of tolerance on all levels at this point. I am not just speaking about this situation with the hate-film, I am speaking about behavior that we are all asked to tolerate in general that is NOT acceptable, yet under our "American Value System" we are not only asked, but EXPECTED to tolerate. 

Websters definition...

Definition of TOLERANCE

1: capacity to endure pain or hardship  2a : sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own b : the act of allowing something 3: the allowable deviation from a standard; especially : the range of variation permitted in maintaining a specified dimension in machining a piece

I was running my idea for this blog by the Master Gardener last night and just throwing out ways within the past couple of weeks where I have been asked-whether it be directly through active participation or indirectly by assumption, to tolerate bad behavior and/or manners. And I think as Americans, we are asked to tolerate a whole lot. 

Don't get me wrong-I am a very strong proponent of Freedom of Speech, of the basic right as an American and basic/key part of our Constitution to be able to express myself without worry of being censored or harmed for my views. Our Founding Fathers set up our constitution with incredible foresight and this document has served as our "rock"- as our guiding principles that has set us apart from EVERY OTHER NATION in the world. We enjoy and take for granted most of the freedoms that people actually go to war for in other countries. 

HOWEVER- in the case of the 1st Amendment-have we been asked for TOO much? Has it gone too far to ask us to tolerate some of the behavior we have seen in the recent years? When and how do we turn from tolerating a situation to saying, "Hey! that's enough!!" ??? This amendment was intended to allow people the freedom of expression even if the message was not one everyone agreed about. This includes speech, religion, press and the right to assemble peacefully. But what happens when a person's 1st Amendment freedoms overstep the boundaries of decency and good sense? What happens when one person's freedom of speech and expression is tasteless and affects another person's quality of life? What happens when one person's hate is masqueraded behind the principles of the 1st Amendment? What happens when MY rights to live MY life are affected by someone else's "opinions" and "hates"?

These are all valid questions. In terms of freedom of expression-I have seen bad behavior masked behind this umbrella many, many times. How man times have you heard "Well, he was just expressing himself."? Or "She has the right to say that."?

Example 1: I was in a coffee shop the other day. This woman was in front of me and could not make up her mind. She hemmed and hawed...looking back at the forming line of people behind her, saying she was just having a hard time deciding. Now, instead of allowing people to go ahead of her she just kept on. Delaying everyone behind her to the point where some people left. THAT was bad behavior. Expecting people to "tolerate" her indecisiveness. Yet, the coffee shop workers were too uncomfortable to call her on her rudeness. Should we be expected to tolerate someone's rudeness when it affects us?

Example 2: The recent story of how a family with a Down's Sydrome child was denied boarding on a flight because the child was out of control in the waiting area. The family had purchased tickets in First Class, and apparently their child was having a bad day and could not be controlled, even by the parents in the waiting area, so the airline staff made the decision to not allow them to board because they thought the child would disrupt everyone one else on the flight, due to the behavior he was exhibiting. Where do you side on this? I'll tell you I have flown 100's of times and on my longer flights I get that sinking feeling in my stomach when I see a toddler board and sit near me. Don't get me wrong, Hana(my daughter) has flown since she was 3 weeks old. She flew as a toddler internationally and domestically. However, I never tolerated ANY bad behavior from her and she knew it. I can honestly say, that not once in her 19 years was there EVER any tantrums or bad behavior on a plane. So, my toleration level for unruly children on planes is next to zero. In terms of the situation above, I will tell you if I purchased a ticket in 1st Class and this child-special needs or not-behaved out of control- I would have been angry. YET- where do you draw that line of the parents/family having the right to fly on a flight where they had purchased tickets? Their outrage was they thought thought they were being discriminated against for having a special needs child. That is ridiculous! They were being called out on the bad behavior of their child. Period. There was no discrimination there. The airline would have done the same thing even if the child was not special needs. (I have a high tolerance level in regards to special needs people. I work with them. A good portion of my salary if from doing work with special needs. I full appreciate the challenges that go along with having a disability.) 

Example 3: The right of this so-called "film-maker" to make a hate film called "The Innocence of Muslims". This, I feel, is the most blatant exploitation of our 1st Amendment. This film was not intended to inform or entertain. No, this film's ONE AND ONLY intention was to incite hate. To promote hate. To prove that one set of people were inherently violent. It's aim was to prove that provocation of a set of people would always result in that set of people turning to violence to protest. And guess what? The film accomplished it's goals. Yup. It said terrible things about a religion. It said that the religion and it's followers were violent. And look what happened? The violence that erupted throughout the Islam community has validated this movies message. And you know what else? We, as Americans, are being asked, yet again, to tolerate another view under our Freedom of Expression rights. 

This film excerpt is despicable. However, this man had the right under our 1st Amendment to make this film. But did he have the right to make this film with the intention to cause violence? Does your 1st Amendment right give you the right to intentionally, knowingly cause violence? I don't think so. Your Freedom of Expression and your Freedom to practice your religion does not give you the right to INTENTIONALLY cause violence. Where is that line between freedom of speech and flat out hate? 

Have we allowed hate groups, rude people and bad behavior to be excused, tolerated and masked behind our 1st Amendment? Have we allowed to blatant disrespect and nastiness of people like the Westboro Baptist Church to preach their hate under the guise of the 1st Amendment? 

When does this stop? When will we, As Americans, stand up and say we have had enough? When will we stop letting the exploitation of our Constitution and Amendments be the excuse to allow hate and violence?

And on a more basic level, when will all this bad behavior end? In example 1-why didn't the lady have common sense and step aside while she decided? Example 2- why didn't the family recognize that the best thing for all concerned was to take the time and get the child under control, then take the next flight? Example 3- why did the Islamic community insist on believing this hate-film was approved by the US government? They insist that we do not understand their views but obviously, they don't have a clue about how the United States of America is run in regards to our Constitution and Amendments either. 

I think my "Toleration Level" is at a dangeroulsy low spot. We may not be able to change people's views. We may not be able to even understand where some people are coming from. Heck, we may even disagree COMPLETELY with the way someone believes. We may even believe that we are entitled to behave as we please because of our freedoms here. It doesn't matter. 

But the one thing that MUST define us is our compassion and understanding that our views will differ. We are all different. All around the world people practice different belief systems. Whose is right and whose is wrong? I don't know.

There will be no solution to the human conflict when it comes to belief systems in the world. But you know what you CAN do? Make a point to not tolerate bad behavior. I should have said something to that woman in the coffee shop. As far as the hate-film, I am saying it now: the film was despicable and the reactions of the radical (and not so radical) Islamics was just as contemptible.

Bad behavior, racism, discrimination only gets worse when it is tolerated.

Don't tolerate it. It will make you a better person.  

Thanks for reading!!! As always eat well, stay healthy and promote happiness!!!