Cyberbullying Brings Teasing Off the Playground and into the Home

In this day and age, most every parent of a school-aged child has heard the term “cyberbullying” and knows its practice—the sending of hateful e-mails or posting of hurtful comments on Facebook—is damaging to kids.

But beyond that, many parents face difficulties in understanding all of the behavior associated with the term and, more importantly, how to prevent or stop it from happening to their child. Today’s youth are almost always more technologically savvy than their parents, which can make monitoring texting and social networking sites difficult.

A few parents raised concerns over this very topic during a recent District 61 PTA meeting, which prompted a program Tuesday night at addressing cyberbullying and its ramifications. The seminar came on the heels of last week’s White House Conference on Bullying Prevention conceived, in President Obama’s words, “to dispel the myth that bullying is just a harmless rite of passage or an inevitable part of growing up. It’s not.”

Judy Freedman, author of Easing the Teasing and a bullying prevention specialist who has more than 25 years of social work experience in schools, shared her knowledge with the parents gathered at Eisenhower.

Freedman stressed that first and foremost, parents should set and enforce Internet privacy, as well as computer and cell phone usage rules.

She differentiated between the different types of teasing, from good-natured and gentle ribbing to chronic and hostile scenarios.

Traditional face-to-face bullying has always been an issue in schools, but children have been able to find a safe haven at home. Not so with cyberbullying—the child can still fall victim even within close range of a parent.

“Social networking sites such as Facebook are like Internet malls; they’re a place where kids hang out together,” Freedman said. She explained that the absence of face-to-face communication gives kids a sense of bravado to use language that might be inappropriate and cruel.

Although most sites such as Facebook require a user be at least 13 years old, that doesn’t stop students from lying about their age in order to have an account. And Twitter has no minimum age requirement.

Cyberbullying can include disparaging posts or pictures of a child, which peers can then view. Online gossip and hurtful texts can spread at a whim, and coupled with the impulsive, emotional nature of many teenagers, can often be very damaging, Freedman explained. Sometimes a “mob mentality” forms where the bully gains support from others, increasing the victim’s sense of isolation and hopelessness.

The best solution to stop bullying is to report it to those who are in a position to stop it, which is in many cases school administration and occasionally law enforcement.

Getting bullied kids to talk to parents or teachers can be a real challenge, as many kids fear repercussions and further torment, according to Freedman.

Superintendent Dr. Robert Carlo said, “Sometimes parents are the ones who are afraid to report bullying for fear of making things worse for their children, but this is not the case.” He reassured parents that it’s in their child’s best interest to open a dialogue with school officials about bully behavior.

Freedman suggested that parents monitor comments on social network sites and be observant of changes in behavior, even after their child tells them everything is fine.

And refusing to tolerate bullying among peers is also a deterrent. Freedman cited a situation where a young girl stood up for another who was being bullied and the behavior ceased. There is definitely strength in numbers, she said.

There is much being done about prevention in the middle schools, said EJH Principal Michael Fitzgerald. He said bullying behavior seems to be more prevalent among this age group. Every case needs to be handled differently, he said, as circumstances can differ in each situation.

EJH staff stress on a daily basis the importance of being a good person, a lesson Fitzgerald feels most parents begin at home. There are many obvious and discreet ways teachers can find out about trouble between students and can handle it accordingly.

EJH computer education teacher Renee Brennan spoke about a three-week Internet unit that echoes the information Freedman presented. The unit uses a different program for each grade level that stresses digital citizenship and raises students’ awareness that online information is still accessible even after it’s deleted. 

While bullying is getting national attention and state legislation is a deterrent, the issue continues to be the number one social concern among students.

Eisenhower PTA President Mary Beth Owano, who organized the event, said that this meeting was only the beginning of what she hoped would be a more frequent conversation for concerned parents.

More information about Internet bullying can be obtained by checking out these resources:

 http://www.stopbullying.gov/

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/advice-for-parents

http://www.athinline.org/